Monday, October 30, 2006

Bush is Showing Considerable Growth

In professional sports there is often this talk of how "chemistry" plays a role in how a team performs. There is no doubt that a disruptive presence in the locker room can wear a team down, just ask Donovan and the rest of the now Owens-less Eagles how much easier it is to prepare for games this season. I agree that having the right team chemistry can help turn a good team into a great team, but not enough attention is paid to the chemistry of players' names. We are now 8 weeks into the 2006 NFL season and I still can't help myself from laughing when I hear the analysts talking about how the Saints' Bush is showing considerable growth…does hearing this on a weekly basis cause a distraction to the rest of the players? Below I graded some pairs of players on different NFL teams to determine the overall chemistry of each team based on player names:

GIANTS: Webster & Short - A+ - George was an ex-NFLer and Mam had a flat top…shows me they're born to play the game
CHARGERS: Lott & Heart - A+ - You can never have too much heart
COLTS: Saturday & June - A - They are a well rested team and ready for the long haul
TITANS: Young & Hope - A - Whitney said it best "I believe the children are our future"
EAGLES: Short & Barber - A - They focused at the task on hand
JAGUARS: Hunter & Webb - A - This defense knows how to catch their prey
49ERS: Slaughter & Battle - A- - Now this sounds like a football team ready to play
DOLPHINS: Hunt & Kimble - A- - The Fugitive was a great movie…your really feel for Dr. Kimble and all he goes through
PATRIOTS: Light & Bruschi - A- - Less filling but still tastes great
JETS: Tutt & King - B+ - They're living large
SEAHAWKS: Willis & Locklear - B+ - T.J. Hooker and Different Strokes were great shows
VIKINGS: Hunter & Blue - B+ - Hunter Blue is a great color
BROWNS: Frye & Pool - B - Reminds me of a good bar-b-cue
REDSKINS: Thrash & Fox - B - Aggressive defense
CHIEFS: Law & Shields - B - Too many restrictions will wear a team down over a 16 game season
BUCCANEERS: Moore & Rice - B - Nothing like a second helping of that San Francisco treat
COWBOYS: Green & Elam - B- - Reminds me of a nursery rhyme
RAVENS: Brown & Green - B- - These colors are very earthy and work well together
RAMS: Bulger & Looker - C+ - This has a very "swinging" 70's feel to it…in a bad way
BILLS: Price & Butler - C+ - This has a very Silver Spoons ring to it...and Ricky and Alfonso didn't seem like they could play
LIONS: Bell & Hall - C - Reminds me of school
PANTHERS: Gross & Baker - C - No one likes burnt cookies
SAINTS: Bush & Deuce - D - These two names should never be spoken in the same sentence
CARDINALS: Huff & Rolle - D - They need better conditioning…it's probably why they blew that lead to the Bears in the 4th quarter
BEARS: Grossman & Griese - D - Sounds like a bunch of guys that carry around dirty handkerchiefs
BENGALS: Houshmandzadeh & Smith - D - Felix and Oscar made a better couple then these two
PACKERS: Jolly & Moll - D- - Have you ever met someone that is happy about having a mole?
TEXANS: Brown & Greenwood - F - Why would you have Brown and Green wood…it doesn't make sense and neither do their game plans
STEELERS: Brown & Colon - F - Nothing wrong with having one but they definitely have a Super Bowl hangover
RAIDERS: Bookman & Schweigert - F - These two were definitely picked last in kickball growing up
FALCONS: Weiner & Beck - F - I hear he's popular for more then just his music
BRONCOS: Cox & Burns - F - Ouch

Based on my player name chemistry analysis above I would expect the GIANTS and CHARGERS to be playing in the Super Bowl this year…but as we all know, any team can win on any given Sunday…I just wouldn't want to rely on Cox & Burns.


Blogger doubleglick said...

What about Joe Penishands and Sammy Jurkinhoff?

6:26 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home